driving through

to where we are now

I drove behind you today

in my purple top,

matcha in hand,

music on blast,

in the sunshine,

unexpectedly,

coincidentally,

without intention,

you were in your own world,

with your forearm on the window,

sunnies on,

one hand on the steering wheel

looking handsome,

looking cool,

yet

thinking,

drifting,

just being,

you wouldn’t have seen me,

you wouldn’t have known it’s me,

and i’ve realised,

how different this felt

once upon a time,

it would have meant everything

heart racing,

body shaking,

mind spiralling,

wanting to be seen

wanting to be known

but now,

i just keep driving

i think who you knew

isn’t who i am now,

a reminder of something that existed once

i’m sure you are different too,

more you,

maybe you see what i saw in you,

maybe you’ve found what you’re looking for

self worth,

grounding,

clarity

we were so much once,

and there was a lot of love,

we just showed it differently

but it was still felt

in many ways,

there’s still care

even affection,

a calmer love,

the kind that is respectful

that doesn’t need to be spoken

it’s strange how we got here,

from everything

to this type of peace,

i wouldn’t change it

i keep driving

feeling the sun on my skin

drinking my matcha,

singing to the music that fills my space

and i feel peace

lots of love,

love emm xxxxx