only time

for friends that once were

I miss my old friends,

plain and simple

and i know it’s been written before,

thought before,

written in journals,

internally processed,

man even exhaled upon the last breath

but grief comes in waves

and friendships leave marks

memories flicker here and there

not enough to hold,

just enough to ache

and time,

oh, time

a key player in this,

as time moves forward,

as distance becomes more prominent

what was once so familiar,

becomes harder to reach

conversations fade,

memories become harder to remember,

inside jokes lose their context

it’s not like they were awful people

or there’s resentful lingerings,

there was never resentment anyway

only love,

only time,

but i do wonder

was i good friend?

did i show up when they needed me?

did i support them when times were low?

do they know how much they mattered?

i wonder what they think of me now,

and i have no right to know,

or even to inquire

if my name crosses their mind

what follows?

a smile?

a sigh?

a story?

am i the grinch in their story

or simply a chapter

that has come and gone

i don’t know,

maybe i never will

and i’m okay not knowing

but some people leave fingerprints

on a life without meaning to,

and when the time strikes,

and a memory flickers,

i find myself grateful

that they were here at all

lots of love,

love emm xxxxxx