rain on me

the cost of clear skies

There once was a time

where push came to shove

where she would’ve done anything

everything

to have kept you happy

bent herself into softer shapes,

filled down the edges

so nothing about her,

would ever cut you

she carried your storms with pure love,

just like they were her own doing

like she had summoned the thunder

and owed you the clear skies,

and the rainbow afterwards

she learned the weight of your silences,

the language of your distance

how to read the room,

before you even spoke

to take away your burdens

until there was only sunshine for you

a sky so clear

you never had to wonder,

what it cost to keep it that way

and I think you adored that

treasured it

the ease of it

only came to me when it was difficult

but it rained on me

let me out in the dark

i allowed that

i let the rain in

but you also never gave me an umbrella

i’m not blaming you

it’s the time that healed

created clouds to stop the rain

learned how to dance in the turbulence

to pause

to be

i carry my own umbrella now

and let the rain fall down all around me

or sometimes,

i dance in the rain,

let it all

fall down,

all around me

and i feel

free

lots of love,

love emm xxxx